Beard - World Beard and Moustache Championships 2013 - Sunday

Friday
Saturday
Sunday

Today was more about Stuttgart than beards, the flight was cheaper on a Monday than a Sunday so we decided to take an extra day to do some sight seeing around the city. It was a pretty late start to the morning with dull heads and I had a wry smile, waking in the knowledge that I had the tenth best full freestyle beard in the world! THE WORLD! Once we had showered and dressed ourselves we headed to the train station and headed for the city centre. we got the admin task of printing boarding passes out the way first, before finding coffee and pastry based breakfast in a local cafe.

We then spent some time just wondering around the town checking out the local civic buildings and public art, some of which had to be mounted for the camera. I'm not saying we are seasoned subtle travellers, and we are not quite the 'Brits abroad'. We are somewhere in-between. We had walked around the majority of the city before we decided it was time for coffee and cake and found a lovely little theatre cafe, which served great cakes and coffee, the only problem was that we had sat in the smoking part of the cafe, which was a bit of a pain.

After our second cafe stop we went out in search of geocaches and postcards for my gran. Once these tasks were out of the way we were full on culture vultures and went to the Stuttgart fine art and contemporary art gallery, which was huge and had some very interesting art. fine art has never really excited me, but it was a nice way to spend an hour or so. We then headed to the bar were we had arranged to meet a fellow competitor and his mates.

We'll just have a couple of jars as I hate travelling with a hangover.

Well.

That plan didn't last long. Even though it was early November we all stood outside the bar and drank beer, drank wine, ate pizza and with one of the Irish crew pulling out a guitar we formed the 'Smoking elbows'. We sang and drank for hours any passer bys were impromptu-ally serenaded, and frequently joined in the revelry. We partied until the bar closed around midnight and we slowly wondered back to catch the last train back to our hotel.

Beard - World Beard and Moustache Championships 2013 - Saturday

Friday
Saturday
Sunday

It was a thick head and dry mouth that welcomed me to Saturday morning. But a shower and toothbrush soon sorted me out. I started my beard and moustache grooming with curlers and a hair drier to give it the basic shape, neatened and stiffened it up with a little hair 'clay' and moustache wax, before getting my costume on and then heading to Aldi for breakfast and supplies for the day.

If was over whelming at the Filldehalle with bearded chaps wondering around all over the place speaking dozens of different languages, I had no idea what queue to join or where to stand. I found the wonderful gentlemen of the The British Beard Club, who helped point me in the right direction. It took about 40 minutes of queues and forms and being prejudged. "Yes, you have a beard, please continue". It took a while but I was officially entered, registered and qualified to compete. No sooner was I done with the admin side of the day, and the parade started. We where organised by our country and paraded around main hall to the cheers and applause of the spectators and press.

The competition then started. It was running late, but it didn't matter. The first competitions were for those with moustaches. It was great to such an array of different moustache styles, sizes and colours. Everyone was cheering and supporting the more elegant and distinguished of the hairy brotherhood. It was a slow moving procession but great fun to be a part of. Having German beer also helped make things run a little quicker for the spectators. Some of the people i got chatting to were just brilliant fun. not only did they grow their moustache, but they took on the moustaches entire character. I met this wonderful Finnish chap who was robbed of a top three position in the Dali moustache category. He wasn't shy of the camera.

After moustache categories came the partial beard categories, including fu-man-chu, goatee and partial freestyle. The big guns were starting to come out. I also managed to meet one of my bearded heroes, Mr Willi Chevalier who has an incredible white triple loop moustache and beard. Makes my scruffy attempt look rather amateurish. He was a nice chap who didn't speak much, but was happy to a few photos. Once the partial beards had been judged they moved on to the full beards. This was the real deal, with giant beards and some extravagant costumes. It was late in the afternoon now and the beers were slowly taking their toll, it was getting closer to my category so I was drinking more beers and making more trips to the toilets to work in more and more wax.

When it finally came to my category it was touching on 10 pm, the audience were nicely rowdy, with the Swiss supports going crazy with giant cow bells and the loudest cheering. But they were closely followed in the loudest cheering by the Hungarians who shouted loudly and flashed their sabres (not a euphemism) in encouragement to their favourites and countrymen. It was pretty nerve racking standing amongst the greatest beards in the world, but it was also great fun. When I was invited forward to present my beard to the judges and audience I took the opportunity to jump down form the stage and shake each and every hand of the judges as they had had the longest day of everyone here. I small hat trick for the audience and I took my place back in line and cheered and clapped on my fellow competitors.

The scores were read out, and I was not in last place and definitely outside the top three, so I was very happy we watched the closing ceremony with the winners posing on stage for photos and being handed their trophies. It was close to midnight when we started rolling out the conference centre, and someone had left a trophy on the table so I posed for a quick photo. It was too late in the suburbs to find an open bar to celebrate in, so we headed back to the hotel to wash the wax out of the beard and get some well earned shut eye.

This has been an incredible day and i met some incredible people many thanks to all the teams and organisers involved

http://www.worldmoustachechampion.com/neueSeiten/bart/WM%202013%20LE/welcome.html
http://www.wbma.info/
http://thebritishbeardclub.org/

Beard - World Beard and Moustache Championships 2013 - Friday

Friday
Saturday
Sunday

Me and my 2 pals flew over to Stuttgart on the Friday early evening arriving in Stuttgart around 8 pm local time. The passport control staff at airports are usually stern faced and give nothing away. But they have been faced with dozens of hairy travellers who, like me have probably grown their beards since having their passport photos taken. Once through customs it was only a couple of stops on the S-Bahn to our hotel, were we dropped off our kit and headed towards the welcoming party at the venue of tomorrows competition.

We had only walked 10mins before we came across a small bar with the football on, so we wondered in, sat down, and waited to be waited on. The bar maid quickly took our order and it was only a minute before we had our hands on a great pint (500 ml) of cold crisp German Pils. Prost! Stuttgart's football team wasn't doing to well and the bar went deadly quite during the game, so we finished our beer and slipped out nice and quite and paid our tab. It wasn't long before we were at the venue with a new beer in our hand sitting around watching fellow beardy types potter about and talk about curlers, straighteners, waxes, gels and hairsprays. IT was fun but we were starving, and the evening was starting to come to an end here.

We headed off in search of food and found a small Greek bar / restaurant which told us they had stopped serving food but could do a salad for us. This was perfect, we had a salad and a few bowls of French fries washed down with Irish beer and then another German Pils. Once we had our fill we headed back to the hotel to crash out, it had been a long day.

Beard - Practicing for the world championships

Shampoo

Drip Dry

Roll

Sculpt 

Tweak

Divide

Sub Divide

Race - The Summer Beast - 15th Sept 2013

I love this race, I can rock up, run a 10 mile obstacle course and then quietly disappear afterwards. The simple, raw feel of the race is great, no "HooRa's", "Hell Yeah's" or "Ar Roo's". Its a hilly trail run through a magnificent horse trials course with an added water obstacle. Having the option to complete one or two, 5 mile loops was never a real option for me. Of course I'll be pushing myself for 10 miles. I have done this race 3 or 4 times now and always enjoyed the tough terrain and the fast pace of the race.

I somehow ended up on the front row of the starting line, and from the countdown I took the lead for the first half mile. I then made a pretty dumb decision at the water wade. I took a wider route and chose to swim rather than wade. This cost me lots more time and energy, and by the time I was out of the water the the lead had been taken by a dude in black and he was pulling away with ease.

After the water the course becomes pretty hilly and and just don't have the legs to pound up these bad boys, I was starting to loose the odd place but after the first lap I was pretty confident I was in the top 10. The second lap was hard going every horse jump seemed higher, slippier, and harder to leap. I made a better decision to wade rather than swim on the second lap which made life much easier. My male chauvinism came into play half way round the 2nd lap with the fastest lady on the course gaining on my and hanging on to my heels. I was determined not to be beaten by a lady, and pushed hard to try and loose my skirt wearing shadow (she was wearing shorts not a skirt, but it doesn't alliterate as nicely as skirt) but I just couldn't shake her. In the final mile she pulled away and took a good 10 seconds from me, I was happy with my efforts, and my legs were screaming and lungs gasping, I couldn't have run any harder.

When finishing I caught up with the lady and congratulated her and a few other male runners I had been trading places with all morning. I quickly grabbed my keys from the key drop and headed home. I usualy stop for one of the stunning burgers from the local butchers stall. But today I was rushing back as i was on taxi duties in the afternoon, and have DIY jobs to deal with.

A great race, an incredible challenge and for the first time I ran every step (apart from stopping at a water station) including the uphills.

http://thebeastrun.co.uk/

Race - Wilne 10km - 1st September 2013

I'ld not heard of the Wilne 10km run until Team Derby Runner members had posted on Facebook about it. I didn't even know where Wilne was. Turns out its a small village only 20 minutes away from my house and even closer to my sister's. So, me, the missus (not running) and my sister head over, park up and head to the registration tent to pick up the race packs. This event is much bigger than I expected with half a dozen massage tables set up, The Nottingham Runner stall set up selling kit, and other tents and activities for children and runners. Once I had my number pinned on and chip attached I did a few stretches and drank some more water.

In my post holiday guilty haze I decided that September would be booze free and refined sugar free. So as a final splurge, last night, I ate half a Salty Caramel Briton Cake, washed down with a can of 1664, and then went to the pub and had 3 more pints of lovely English real ale. It was a great evening of catching up with mates and talking quite a lot of crap, mainly on the subject of "Are foxes canine or rodents?". Needless to say, I was on the loosing side.

So this is why I was slightly green and sweaty before I even started. Annoyingly I had been training quite hard during the last 2 weeks on holiday, and had been aiming for a sub 44 minute time. I pretty much threw this out the window today and would be happy with anything under 50 minuets and not have to vomit on the course. Once at the starting point I nudged up towards the front but was still about 20 lines back when it started to become impolite to push any closer. After 10 minutes of waiting in the blocks comparing pre race preparation techniques with fellow Team Derby Runner members, Sheena (my sister) and Rob. Rob's was a big greasy hot curry, and Sheena's was massive 16 mile run! I thought I was bad having cake and beer, I think I'll stick to my terrible pre race prep!

Running hard not to vomit at wilne 10km

When the gun went it took a good 20 to 30 seconds to reach the start line with the usual concertinaing effect generated by an enthusiastic start. I was happily making progress through the 1st km overtaking when I could. I spotted a TDR vest in front and was slowly trying to make my way towards him when another TDR vest came past me, I tried to keep up with him to reach TDR number 1. But TDR runner number 2 who came past me was far too quick and he pulled away and overtook his team mate and was out of sight. As I reached the 3km mark last night's beer was causing my stomach to churn uncomfortably and I was happy to stop when my laces need a re tie. Just round the corner from the 3km mark was a TDR member and her kids watching and supporting the race. Her two younglings bounced and cheered which momentarily help my nausea fade and enjoy the race. That feeling didn't last long.

Because of the layout and 'almost two laps' route, after about 4.5 km you are presented with the finish line. Usually the finish line is a energy burst but this was demoralising and painful, knowing I wasn't half way yet and feeling pretty rough. Luckily the water station wasn't too far away and a couple of cups of water did give me a bit of a boost. At the 5km marker I was surprised to see I was at 21m30s. Hold on. I'm on target for a sub 44! It's going to be hard to keep the last 5km at decent pace, but I have to give a go. It was hard on the second lap, the open part of the roads with no shade was an absolute killer, draining my already dehydrated body further. When the shade covered the road I perked up and ran hard and cought up with the lady that passed me at the 6km marker. I managed to keep her in my sights, and was hugely motivated by her heavy breathing. Not in a pervy way, but it showed how much effort she was putting in. Was I putting that much effort in? could I put more effort in? turned out, I was was running at maximum pace. hamstrings where getting very sore, energy was very low, but I managed to carry on pushing and keep on her heels.

To tired to vomit now at the Wilne 10km

I final cheer from the TDR youth supports club around the 8km marker and I knew I was going to finish and with a respectable time. The 9km marker came and went and I felt I was pushing hard and Miss Heavy Breathing was still leading me out and picking off other runners too. She was a great pace setter. when I got to the 400meter mark I glanced at my watch and it was at 42m20sec. Hold on in my interval training I was running 400 meters in about 1m30s. HAMMER TIME. I pushed as hard as I could, I didn't have the legs or energy for a sprint finish, but managed to press past the lady who had dragged me through the last 4kms and crossed the line hit stop on my watch and glanced at the finish line timer. The timer said 44m34s and my watch said 44m08s, as I had started it as I crossed the start line. Very close to my goal, even with a dodgy hangover and a shoe lace stop. It was a PB for me too, Next 10km road race target now has to be a sub 43!

Just after crossing the line I turned to thank the lady and she asked what time I got, and congratulated me on a PB too. She was happy that she had contributed to my success. I then Grabbed water from Ness and sat and watched other TDR memebers come in, once Sheena was over the line we took the slow walk back to the event village to pick up our t-shirt and race goodie bag, and cought up with guys from The Nottingham Runner. before heading back to the car.

Thanks to Sarah for the photos too.

In Summery:

I very pleasant course, with a great turn out from the public and local, very happy with my time and super slick organisation and support team. I will be back next year!

http://www.wilne.co.uk/
http://www.nottinghamrunner.com/

Race - Total Warrior 10mile - 4th August 2013

Total Warrior 10 miles - Clean at the start of the race

I reviewed and took you through the course yesterday on the 10km race, and today is the same course but with an added 3.8 mile trail run which I'll come to later on.

Again the morning started with a very pleasant walk through Shap village to the event village, and the super slickness continued with registration and bag dropping. Even the pre gun motivation and briefing seem that little bit slicker today, and the gun music today was the rousing fire starter from prodigy. I wasn't planning on running with Pete from Mudstacle but from the gun I took a nice wide route to avoid the crush, on the first downhill Pete's long legs came in to their own bounding down the hill in about three giant steps. I caught up with him on the uphill, and so the day went for the next hour and 45 mins, with Pete and myself running together, overtaking on obstacles or runs. It was great to pushed to catch up after the obstacles I struggled on, and felt good to pull away on the obstacles and runs I felt more at ease on.

Total Warrior 10 miles - In full hippy mode

On the 3.8 run it was 2 miles of uphill slog through wet soaked marshland, the hills were not too step but the constant drag force the group of runners we were in to take breaks for walking. Anyone who ran the entire way to the top is a legend and deserves huge respect and a free massage. The run back to the main course was incredible. Stunning views, soft ground underfoot, extra speed from the downhill nature. This was trail running at its best. Always on the edge of falling over. Needing to watch every step, but at the same time running like a kid, if i hadn't have been running with Pete at this point, I may have just thrown my hands in air and shouted 'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' all the way down the hill.

It was now back on the obstacle course from Saturday's 10km, the course was much muddier after last nights down pour and being churned up by 4500 runners. This added so much to the course, all obstacles covered in a coating of slime, mad every vault, drag, pull, crawl and step, that little bit more challenging. The water dunks seems colder, smellier, and even managed to drain more energy today. Amazingly the integrity and quality of the obstacles was impeccable, no splinters, no breakages, no failures. This is a true testament to the skill and engineering of the course builders. Brave Sirs, BRA-bloody-VO!

Total Warrior 10 miles - Running through fire

The rest of the course remained unchanged, although the the water slide was longer due to wetter slicker grass at the base, causing another out of control slide. The final hill was a killer and went into Sunday plodder mode, and managed to run (slow jog / plod) all the way to the final wall. Pete was right on my heel and we were side by side on the final monkey bars. With my short arms and legs my feet couldn't touch the water, but with Pete's added lank he has lift his legs to keep his knees out the water. 2 days on the trot I've nailed the monkey bars, but Pete only managed to get half way.


What a privileged to run that course with the added trail run. I struggle to find anything wrong with the entire weekend but if the Total Warrior guys want a couple of  areas to improve on.

1. Water station on the 10 km was a little too close to an obstacle.
2. Add a bottle bar with plastic bottles to the beer tent.
3. Add a 'quite camping' area for those, like me, who are too old and grumpy to party all night after a race :)

That's it, that's all I can think of after being on site for 2 days, racing hard, and using the facilities. So close to perfection, its scary! Oh and there may have been a quite camping area, I just never asked.

Race - Total Warrior 10km - 3rd August 2013

This is the second weekend in a row with my alarm clock set for 5am. Urgh. I was pretty much ready to wake up put clothes on a get in the camper. I had the genius plan of packing the van the night before. So it was wake, dress, drive, drive, drive, drive, stop for wee, drive drive. I got to the camp site for about 0815, picked up my camp pass and set up the camper.

It was a 20 minute walk to the event village so I got ready in to race gear and headed over. The village of Shap is beautiful and it felt like the whole village was behind the event, with local pubs putting out signs welcoming Total Warriors, even the local cafe had a 'Total Warrior special'. Once at the event village, the scale of this event started to become clear. Huge fields for cars to park in, lots of marshals giving directions and help. Once in the main barn, large impressive banners take your through the 4 step registration process. I went from standing in running kit with valuables and a bag, to a headband wearing, race numbered, temporary tattoo'd, bag stashed warrior in a total of 5 minutes. Total Warrior isn't just a well oiled machine, its a well oiled slick machine made of Teflon, lithium grease and baby oil.

Well I had given my self an hour to get through registration and now had 55 minutes to potter around the stalls check out the views and the parts of the course you could see from the event village. The views from here are stunning, and the obstacles looks very impressive too. I start doing a few stretches and warms up to keep my self busy. chatted to a few people around the start area too, which was great fun. With 20 minutes to go we were called into the starting pen for safety briefings and motivation.

3...2...1... GO! we all run off to the sounds of Blur's 'Song 2' which pumps out adrenalin and energy with every beat. I take a wide line so get around as many people as possible, and get up towards the front of the wave. The first km was brutal, running down a steep hill, then back up, then back down, up again with a clamber at the very top. This sapped the energy very quickly, and very quickly thinned the pack down, ready for the fire leap and 'human BBQ'. The heat was pretty impressive and a fun obstacle. The heat was pretty short lived as we were soon running through a shallow stream. and up another hill. Oh and then another hill with massive tree trunks to climb over.

Mud hills and water filled dips followed by, 3 foot, 4 foot and 5 foot walls to vault and climb over break up any running you tried to break into. A short run through the moorland and it was time for the first log carry of the day a short trip up a hill and back again. It was now time to stretch the legs and get in 1 maybe 2 kilometres of running through wet, marshy moorland, the running was energy sapping with hidden sink holes and the old boulder thrown in for good measure. After a quick water stop it was back on e our hands and knees crawling through thick mud underneath a web of barbed wire. I managed to snag my running vest hear, but luckily didn't snag any skin. the crawl was quickly followed by a great set of hurdles in 50 cm of thick muddy water, next up are uphill tunnels, balance beams, hay bales in water to climb over, and plunge pools.

Now came one of the best obstacles I've encountered in a long time, a boxed in spiders web of bailing string. pitch black once you entered the web. It was brutal and frustrating slow to navigate, a real way to mix it up and increase the fun factor. Once back into the day light it was the 7 foot walls that dominated the horizon, luckily their were a couple of foot holds near the base so I could take a step up and reach the top and drag myself over. This course is very tough and the spacing of the obstacles means there is never much of a run before another obstacle pops up. The next obstacle was a horrible tyre tunnel crawl, tight spaced and very uncomfortable, even though its only 5 or 6 meters long you come out battered and bruised. a few more semi submerged hurdles and a horrifying steep hill to climb aided with a cargo net carpet.

Once out into the open after the cargo climb we were inside the final mile and the obstacles become bigger and defiantly come under the category 'one for the crowds'. A long archway with dangling electric wires was next, my views on electric shock obstacles is always one of 'why bother' and they are just a gimmick. But. They are crowd pleasers, although this was was turned down pretty low so the crowd probably didn't get screams and induced epilepsy they came to see. It was then a hard hill climb to the top of the water slide. This was a pretty epic water slide with lots of water, washing up liquid. A healthy run up and leap suddenly seemed like a very stupid when I was gathering a scary amount of speed and had one leg stuck under the other. i lost control and ended up going head first on my back. Even when the tarpaulin ended I carried on at some speed on the soaked grass. It was only when the ground dried up and the extra drag factor caused by my shorts filling with grass and soil did I final stop. Is was an amazing rush and filled my body with adrenalin ready for the run and climb up the steep wooden wall.

Another log carry up, down,. back up and down another big hill was murder on the legs, but it was then a down hill run to the river. I nearly lost it on the uneven ground, locking out my leg when I should have been keeping them bent and ready for the rock and roll. I desperate leap stopped me from snapping my leg or taking a real bad tumble. This only happened over a couple of seconds but scared the crap out of me and the guy behind me who swore even louder than I did. It was soon forgotten with a swim across the river and rope climb to back back up to the bridge to cross the river the easy way. It was killer run up the final hill to the event village. The final wall climb at the end wasn't too tricky, but the monkey bars at the end were a nightmare. With huge crowds gathering to cheer the successful and jeer those that dropped into the water below. The pressure was enough to strengthen my shoulders and forearms to make it across drop down the final hay bail and cross the line.

What a great race, after I finished I say in the sun on the grass,  relaxed, with the free beer, cliff bar, water and Kendal mint cake. I chatted with other finishers, and proudly got changed into my finishers t-shirt. I didn't hand around too much, but collected my kit and headed back to the camp site feeling super proud of myself. I chatted to those walking up to the event, about the course and they quizzed me tactics and details of the course. I got back, showered, changed and had a half hour snooze in the sun, before having some food, followed by another snooze. Read my book for a while then had another little snooze before heading back up to the site to check out the post race party.

Back up at the event village I ran into Peter from mudstacle and had a beer and good old chat. The party was great fun, but I could barely walk let alone dance, so I pottered about chatted to a few guys I recognised from the day's race including a local fell runner with some incredible tattoos and attitude. I stopped in at the Shap chippy for some more food. My God they server the greatest curry sauce I've ever had in a chippy! decent sized portion and cheeky battered sausage filled me up before heading back to get an early night ready for tomorrow.

Race - The Norse Challenge 10km - 28th July 2013

I was very happy and excited to be asked by mudstacle.com to race and review at the Norse Challenge race in Northumberland. From their website and Facebook page it was looking like a great event. So I agreed and wryly smiled at the thought of the 6 hour round trip to Drudridge and back.

I arrived at the park entrance about 50 minutes before my wave start time which should give me time to pick up my race number and go through my pre race routines. Although I was soon confronted with a long row of cars with brake lights on. It took a good 5 minutes to get to the head of the queue were 2 blokes were collecting 2 pounds for parking. This wasn't a good sign. Why didn't the organisors add the 2 pounds to the entry price and make parking easier and much quicker? Especially as the line of cars was now getting even longer behind me.

Once parked up I saw the queue for registration had started, so I decided to join the queue and get changed once I had my race number, rather than letting the queue get bigger. The queue barely seemed to be moving, but the rain was moving at quite a rate. I was lucky to be in trackies, hoody and waterproof jacket, others around me were in race kit and already starting to shiver. After 30 minutes of queuing and only moving a few meters I got chatting with people around me in the queue. It turns out they had all sorts of problems sending out race numbers in the post, so all the registrants were picking up numbers from the desk. But we never saw anyone coming out the registration tent with a number.

It was now 0920. I was meant to be starting in 10 mins. I thought sod it, i can register after the race, and by the look of the ever growing queue, they would never notice. So I ran to my car and quickly got changed, gulped down an energy gel and ibuprofen and headed off to a large gathering of runners.
"is this the start?"
"No idea spuggy"
"Alright cheers"

I then spotted a large group of runners from an athletics club, jogging off trough the car park, I picked up my knees and followed them, as do 30 or 40 other runners.
"Is this the start then?"
"No idea, we's just warmin oop 'n' waitin"
"balls, I followed you guys as it looked like you knew what you were doing"
"sorry pal, the organisation isn't too canny is it?" - I'm adding quite a bit of 'northern' speak as i couldn't understand half of what they were actually saying.
I then run over to the registration tent to ask were the start line is.
"Over there" he pointed in the rough direction i just came from
"I've just come from over there, and couldn't see a start line"
"no idea then"
"......"
speechless, absolutely speechless that race organisers or marshals haven't been told were the start line is. It's a fairly important part of a race.

I re-join the rabble of damp wave 1 runners who are doing their best to keep cheerful. Suddenly like wildfire through dry grass field, a message spreads that wave 1 is delayed by 45 minutes. The wet wondering would-be runners head en-mass to the cafe and visitors centre to try and get a little warmth and shelter away from the northern persistent precipitation. Suddenly after some milling around, a cheer goes up and we all dash outside.
"Are we starting?"
"Dunno pet, I'm jus' followin' the crowd like"
"Cheers me duck" I throw in some Derbyshire dialect to make sure I'm mistaken from a Northerner
No officials to be seen, we just stand around and try our best to keep warm. I even have time to pose for a photo and even do an interview for SKY Tyne and Wear about the race and the conditions. It was quite funny as he bloke interviewing me ask what did I think of the conditions, and I replied "Perfect, Perfect for running in mud"

This photo sums up my mood on the day

Another report of 10 minutes until the start went round and we all took shelter in and around the visitors centre. One member of staff at the visitors centre, saw the miserable state people were starting to get into, shivering and wet through and through. He opened up an extra area which was under construction, but was dry and big enough to house most of the runners. He also handed out bin liners to keep the rain off and the warmth close. After the 10 minute wait we all wondered to the start area. Still nothing to mark the start area or line, but we had be told it was near a green Land Rover in a car park. Maybe this is a orienteering / puzzle / obstacle course? Guess the start time, and your next challenge is finding the start line.

Then one of the organisers came over and was mobbed in anticipation. "Sorry the race has been cancelled due to worsening conditions" after lots of head shaking and frowns, I decided it was best to get my keys from the key drop and get off site, before the car park was churned up and everyone else had the same idea. At the key drop off, people were still being registered and dropping off keys.
"are you dropping or picking up keys pet?"
"picking up, the race as just been cancelled. hasn't it?"
"I think just the water obstacles have been cancelled"
"I'll grab my keys anyway"

Stepping out of the tent the Exodus was under-way. To be honest. If the organisation is this piss poor, and the race is on, less the water obstacles, I don't think I would want to run a race were the organisation is so bad. What happens if I get injured? Are the medical staff sticking around? I'm I going to get lost because they haven't marked the course out? Are the obstacles safe? I maybe an obstacle course racer, and love the thrill and challenge of the obstacles. But am I stupid and and reckless enough to put my self in unnecessary danger, when I'm 168 miles from home? Nope.

I Jump in the car soaking wet and start the fight to get out the car park. I stop later on  a few miles down the road to get changed. What a wasted day.

Race - Tara Kinder 10km - 19th July 2013

Driving straight from work I arrived about 45 mins before the race start, got changed and chatted to other members of the running team. Even at 7pm it was still very hot in the sun, with everyone hovering around the registration tent, and the http://www.derbyrunner.com/ stall, poaching every available shaded area. I wondered off to warm up stretch and 'water' one of the park's impressive oak trees, before gulping a gel and chatting to more of the team and a surprise attendance of a mate from hockey.

The pre race jostling started as I wondered over to join the melee, I rather embarrassingly though the course went in completely the opposite direction and also join the front line facing the wrong way, but I luckily spotted 300 people facing the opposite direction. I bowed the rule of majority, and grudgingly admitted I was wrong and they where right and wondered around to join the actual back of the pack. I sneaked through a third of the gaggle and chatted to a couple of team mates, and started sledging other team runners, and bigging up our predicted times and speeds. This is a great way to disperse those pre race jitters, and fears of untied shoe laces and your short's draw strings.

The gun went and the throng of runners moved off at a steady pace. the path wasn't narrow but too narrow for 400+ runners of varying speeds. I always manage to take the bait and want to overtake people in the steady starting pace. The path was widely flanked with trees and nettles. Bingo! With runners avoiding nettles like they were a mixture or saturated fatty acid, and highly refined, processed carbohydrates. I took the opportunity to overtake a few big groups and test to see if I have built up a tolerance to nettle stings. Yes, I overtook people, No, I'm still not impervious to nettles. A few sneaky 'off path' spurts through nettles and the long way round trees pushed me into open paths and a pace I felt comfortable running at.

It wasn't the heat that was the biggest problem it was the dust being kicked up from the compacted sandstone trail that was coating my mouth and drying it out, and this was only after the first kilometre. I steadily continued to pick off other runners until I was running a steady pace just beyond my comfort zone. The first lap, of three, was great with huge amount of support from marshals and people watching. I managed it in about 15 minutes, took some water on the move and and pressed on to the second lap.

As I started the second lap a couple of guys passed me, one in white and the other in black, I managed to stay on the shoulder of the guy in black but the guy in white was just too strong and he peeled away and out of sight. Me and the guy in black then slowly pushed each other harder and we picked off more runners and with a short burst I passed him also on a narrow part of the course. Once in front of the man in black either i was pushing harder or he tired but I didn't see him again, and i had to work on my own to catch up with a group of three runners towards the end of the third lap. In the final kilometre of the second lap I was looking for markers / trees/ corners that would be about 300 meters from the line to start a sprint finish. Spotted a flat topped yew tree at the end of the main avenue to castle.

Another lap down and more water and my energy levels were slowly dropping and my breathing was becoming heavier. Some bloke in very bright trainers and Little Eaton Hornets vest passed me so again I pushed to keep on his shoulder and we made our way though 2 or three other runners, but he once again slowly pulled away from me and my tired legs. I was now running in a group of three guys and trying to stay in the lead. I could still see that pesky hornet ahead and saw him pass a guy in a maroon running vest. Maroon boy was now my target, upping my pace I started to close the gap, and spurred on by the encouragement of lapping my sister who was still on lap 2 and the sight of the flat topped yew tree. I pushed hard and passed mister maroon, and encouraged by the crowds near the finish line, and Team Derby Runner's head honcho, Rob, I didn't quite sprint to the finish, but ran as strong as could over the finish line.

I couldn't have been far behind the hornet as he was still catching his breath at the water station, I thanked him for his pace setting and also the guys that pushed me hard in the final lap too. I grabbed some water and then went back to the course to clap through other runners, team mates and my sister,

In summary:
You know its well organised great race when you don't notice the organisation. Marshals and sign-age so well placed, avoiding any ambiguity. Water and race timing in obvious and accessible area. Shame it was three laps rather than 2 or ideally 1.

Scores (out of 10)
Course: 6 - beautiful (loses points for 3 laps)
Terrain: 5 - flat paths and tarmac (well maintained but dull)
Difficulty: 5 - standard 10km
Return factor: 10 - beautiful, fun, friendly and local
Overall: 8

Race - Crich Monument Race - 13th July 2013

NightBeforeRace Prep:
18:20 - Game of squash,
19:00 - Pint of larger (its summer, I'm allowed a dirty larger rather than ale)
20:30 - Game of indoor cricket
21:00 - (mid game) Bottle of Spitfire ale (usually nice, but the bottle had been kept in the fridge)
22:00 - Pint of some guest ale in the local with my squash buddy
23:00 - Got home and did about 2 minutes of lacklustre stretching and went to bed

The race wasn't until 13:30 so I got up nice and late, pottered about in the garden and decided to have a late breakfast of muesli so I wouldn't have to eat again or be too hungry at mid day. We didn't have any milk so I poured tropical fruit juice over the cereal. Never doing that again. Looked and tasted a bit like vomit. But I was drinking as much water as possible as I knew it was going to be a hot one today. I did some more stretching got into my race gear, and started to head off. Couldn't find my wallet and the missus had no cash either, so I had to raid the the step son's piggy bank for the tenner race fee. Today isn't going well.

Got to Crich and couldn't see any signs for the fete car park so parked in a lay by on the outskirts of the village, and went to find the reg tent. This took a bit longer than expected after getting myself and 4 police officers lost by following the wrong track to the main field. Today is getting worse, maybe I should just go home and do some weeding, trim the acer, and mow the lawn. With 10 minutes to go before the gun, I found the reg desk, handed over my stolen tenner, pinned my race number on, washed an ibuprofen down with an energy gel. stretched out my ITB, went for a pee, came back and settled into the middle of the pack ready for the gun.

The gun went and the race bumbled along with the whippets at the front setting a decent pace, I made my way through bunches of runners and got into a steady pace, as we left the fete ground, there was a bit of a uphil which thinned the pack out to almost single file, we then passed my car (was too early to be tempted by sneaking off into the car and driving home), and came off the road into an open field. the field was slightly up hill and no one was complaining when a bottle neck formed and we had to stop and wait to navigate a narrow style. the course then took a more downhill turn and everyone's pace happily increased.

Once we reached Crich Chase the trail was very technical, with plenty of twists and strewn with rocks and roots. I love this type of running. Downhill, through trees, soft ground, twisty challenges. rocks and roots to leap and navigate. The two minutes of running perfection were cut short by Cromford canal. The run from Ambergate to Whatstanwell was a very long, very flat, very hot drag. Don't get me wrong, this is a stunning place to run, beautiful shallow canal on your right, perfectly maintained tow path in dappled sunlight, but its just soooooooo long, well it was probably only 3 miles but it was hard going, and I had a runner from Belper Harriers right on my shoulder, I couldn't pull away from him, nor would I slow down and let him pass me. At the end of the tow path I walked through the first water station to make sure I took on as much fluid as possible, and then started to run. the path went back into the woods, and took a steep uphill slant.

The steep hills slowed me to half walking, half jogging. I lost 6 or maybe 10 places on these hills but I just didn't have the legs or lungs to walk / run any faster. The great advantage of walking sections of the course, allowed me time to pick up my head and look around the absolutely stunning Derbyshire landscape. A short section of downhill running on the road was a very welcome rest, crazy as it sounds running was restful compared with the uphill trudging. I could now see Crich monumnet in its full glory, and I knew the path I had to run up, from walking around here. I walked through the second water station and then started the slow plod uphill. I was over taken by a lady in pink on the way up, and was determined not to let her out of my sight and try and reel her back in.

The uphill path narrowed nearer the top of the hill, and banked on either side with brambles and hedges, this acted like a brilliant heat trap and the air was thick and muggy, I now regretted being such a hairy Muppet and my thoughts drifted into weather I would be quicker if I had a more aerodynamic face, that didn't hold as much heat and sweat. the thoughts soon went as I reached the top of the course at the foot of the monument, the cheerful marshals informed me it was "downhill all the way" now, and I started to pick up the pace and close the gap on the lady in pink, she beat me to the road at the bottom of the monument entrance, she beat me through the fields, she beat me through the graveyard, she was first to cross the road. But I past her through the small estate of houses, and kept the lead past the next marshal "almost there, downhill all the way". I beat her to the 400 metres board, as I took the corner I looked over my shoulder and saw I had taken 10 metres from her. started to empty the tank as reached the final corner and saw the fete ground insight. Running hard for the final run round the edge of the field, being clapped and cheered by fellow runners who had finished was great, but not as great as stopping my watch at 1h05m19s having a drink and collapsing in a heap in the shade.

I wouldn't have ran today.
-It was too hot.
-I hadn't stretched enough.
-I had loads of other stuff to do.

so a huge thanks to the organisers for getting me running!

http://www.cacn.org.uk/news/crichmonument10k0713.htm

In summary: A very hard race with a killer 2 miles of climbing at the end of the race, great location, perfect organisation and very friendly well informed marshals

Scores (out of 10)
Course: 8
Terrain: 8
Difficulty: 8
Return factor: 10
Overall: 8.5

Race - Colin Potter 10km - 5th July 2013

Sneaked out of work a few mins early to make sure I got to Darley Abbey on time (Actually I worked an extra 15mins at work because I love my job so much - just in case my boss reads this ). My sister had already picked up my race pack so all I had to do was pin my number on and lace in my timing chip. It was already pretty busy and I caught up with a few of the Team Derby Runner members and popped my head into the Team Derby Runner stall.

Started my pre race stretching and warm, I'm always surprised how little stretching is going on pre race, maybe they don't need too, maybe I warming up far too late, maybe I think too much. Anyway my leg were feeling a little looser and the start line was filling up. I still don't jostling for a front position unless I need a sprint start to avoid bottle necks. So I tucked in around the middle of the peleton, I was still chatting to Team mate who wasn't running and saving himself for a weekend 1/2 marathon when the gun went. "See you in the pub later" and I was off. It was busy all around and I opened up and starting weaving my way up to find runners hitting my pace.

Running Darley Abbey is great, I love this park, train here, chill out here, occasionally even juggle here, the crowds were out in force on Darley bridge and out side The Abbey pub, these cheered and encouraged every runner on this superb sunny evening. The short hill after the was hard work at this pace, but ended with a very welcome sheltered and shady path downhill path through the park. Another climb to peak of the park and i knew that was the last of the climbing for the first lap. After the first couple of kms I had found my pace and was passing and being passed by the same small pockets of runners. I set my sights on a couple of female runners who were just quicker than me and tried to maintain their pace. I managed to always keep them insight for the first 5km but lost them when I slowed to walk for the water station. 

After taking on a couple of cups I pushed the pace and managed to regain line of sight with the two runnerettes. I carried on pushing but the hills took their toll and they increased their lead. I now started to focus on where and when I would push for the finale. The kms dropped away and the crowds and marshals were incredibly supportive and generous. As I reached the final avenue the couple running behind me were discussing how much they had left. I took this as challenge, looked up and saw a runner 20 meters ahead, i pushed hard to catch and over take with about 200meters to go. now on the grass with the finish line in sight I heard my mates dad shout, "Don't let that chick beat you", sexism aside I take the challenge and push harder still, only to here him shout to the 'chick' "Don't let that beard beat you, luv" laughing away I managed to pass the lady, to then hear one of my running club team, mates start yelling encouragement and to "DROP THE HAMMER" with 150m to run, I ran, ran as hard as my stubby little legs would go. I do love a 'sprint' finish, but it does make you want to vomit when you cross the line.

Having finished i was handed a water bottle, a goodie bag and a take away container for those lovely chefs at viceroy restaurant. I sat down to drink my water and the lady who I pipped in the final meters came over and thanked me for race, and that she was a member of the same running team, but was keeping her vest clean for a different race on the weekend!

After watching more TDR runners finish and forcing my sister to a sprint finish too, i got changed into a clean t-shirt and then went straight home to my wonderful girlfriend ( went to the pub for a swift pint and talk about running with TDR members )

http://www.colinpotter10k.com/

In summary: A great race, great location, perfect organisation and marshals

Scores (out of 10)
Course: 8
Terrain: 6
Difficulty: 6
Return factor: 10
Overall: 7

Race - Water Wipeout 29th June 2013

Rocked up on site an hour before the gun for our wave, and went through the usual signing of waivers, toilet stop and checking out the course. We then started the briefing and warm up. I must have done too many X-Runner races as the warm up guy now recognises me and gives me grief! Maybe its time to shave the beard and resume anonymity. The warm up was fantastic, and was both motivating and great for getting prepared for the race.

From the gun JP and I pushed to get into the top 10 to ensure a clear run at the hay bail pyramid, which was a nice warm up to the obstacles. The next obstacle is the open water swim. Swimming has never been my thing, I can't do breast stroke at all and my front crawl is 'un-orthodox' at best. once I had waded out of my depth I put my shoulders and arms to work. To my great surprise my swimming was strong enough to maintain my spot in the top 10, and because my lack of co-ordination means it was all upper body, my legs felt rested after the 150 meter swim, and I could push up into the top 5. After a few minor obstacles we were in the woods on a great trail run, I managed to lose an energy gel I had stuffed in my shorts which was a pain but easily forgotten about.

Through the trails I managed to push up to the lead of our wave and was feeling comfortable. A bit water slide and short swim broke up the trail run and was great fun. A few cargo nets, balance beams and duck and vault obstacles and yet another dunking. As I approached the final km of the first lap there was a cargo net climb, this was the first bottle neck I had hit i was force to wait and queue, this was frustrating and allowed runners to catch up and over take as i was stuck behind a runner struggling getting over the top.

It was now a race to cross more water and get onto the 2nd lap in under 2 minutes to avoid being behind the wave due to start shortly. But the gun went whilst I was in the water meaning the start of the 2nd lap would be littered with runners. I was 2 minutes behind the wave and the hay bales were clear as I reached them, but the open water swim looked more like beach on a hot sunny day with free money floating in the water. After my lap1 success in the water I took a wide path and swam hard. I must have overtaken 50 to a 100 people in the water, mainly due to lots of people in buoyancy aids doggy paddling.

There was still a lot of back markers to run through once out of the water, my mate JP was wearing bright orange and an easy target to spot and try and chase down. at the next water obstacle, which was a 6 meter pond to wade through. I knew it was waist deep after a meter or so, so i took a huge running leap, making it half way across before getting wet. this worked a treat and managed to pass a dozen people as I flew through the air. I couldn't gain any time on JP and he was always 100 to 200 meters ahead. He kept this lead all the way to the finish and over it. I finished about 45 seconds after my rival and mate.

After a quick home made shower and dry off, I caught up with an old friend and then went to watch Steve Cram start his race.

with the preliminary results in I was 37th and Steve Cram 281st

So for the only time I will ever get to beat Steve Cram in race, I am absolutely stoked!

http://www.x-runner.co.uk

In summary: A great race, with lots of swimming, and a very slick organisation team.

Scores (out of 10)
Course: 8
Terrain: 7
Difficulty: 6
Return factor: 7
Overall: 7

Project - Elderflower Cordial

Having made elderflower cordial a year or two ago, and found the results too sweet and a little bland I researched a few recipes and ideas and went for:

The Elder tree starting to blossom

30 elderflower heads
1.5 Litres of water
1kg Sugar
50g citric acid
2 lemons
1 large oranges
2 limes

1. I picked the whitest flower heads I could find, avoiding un-opened flowers or ones covered in bugs.
2. Boil the water in a kettle and pour into a large saucepan or bowl.
3. Stir in the sugar until it is dissolved
While the water is cooling

Trimmed and washed elderflower heads

4. Trim off the thicker stalks to leave more flowers than greenery.
5. Rise the flower heads in cold water
6. Zest or grate the skin of the orange, lemons and lime
7. Chop the orange, lemons and limes into quarters
The water should have cooled to a warm temperature by now
8. Add the elderflower heads, fruit zest and quarters, citric acid and stir gentle
9. Cover the saucepan or bowl and leave for 24 to 48 hours
10. Strain the liquid using muslin and keep refrigerated.

The concoction left to infuse for 36 hours

The batch I made was a similar concentration to regular cordial, and tastes much nicer with ice cold water. I still found it a little sweet so I'll try with less sugar in my next batch.

Finished and bottled

Race - The Pain and Suffering - 23rd June 2013

I arrived an hour early and joined the queue for toilets, if I've learnt nothing else from events, its to go tot loo as early as possible, to avoid the queues and the rapid degradation of the toilet's condition. With that out the way its off to join the back of the queue for my race pack. I pin my number on and attach my timing chip and  start my pre race prep. I wonder over with about 20 minutes to go, drop off my key and get ready for some stretching and warm ups. "10, 9, 8...". What? the first wave is starting? I thought I had 15 minutes to stretch and warm up? "3,2..." fair enough, I'll just forego my warm up. "Go". Not a fan of starting right at the back of 150 runners, but it didn't take long to get up to the leading group.

The pace was fairly steady and course was pretty flat a tire leap was the first 'obstacle', and after about half a mile the runners had spread out to single file. the 2nd obstacle of an under tarpaulin crawl was sandwiched with 10 press ups either side of the tarp. This was good fun but I did have my doubts to the numeracy skills of some of my fellow runners! More running and a few large, fallen, tree trucks to run along the top off, this again was great fun and a fun alternative to just leaping over them.

The course was clearly going to be lots of running with a sparse amount of horse fence style obstacles. Not really up to claims of "pain and suffering". But soon enough came a great obstacle, we had to carry 2 large heavy water containers around, down and then back up a small quarry / bomb hole. This slowed everyone down to a walk, and was a great challenge. it was then back onto the running. but after running to the other side of a small valley another water container carry was in store. There was a little confusion with the marshals whether we should have 1 or 2 containers, but we settled on one. this time the containers had to be carried around a similar small quarry but with added 1/2 meter boxes to climb over and tarpaulins to crawl under. Again great fun and a fresh approach to obstacle racing. It was now time for another long run around farmers fields.

Obsticles blur into each other at this point as there were very few noteworthy ones. The more memorable zone was a zig-zag route up and down a very steep hill side with a marshal enforcing press ups and site ups at the top of each leg. this was an energy sapping zone and worthy or the pain and suffering title. after more bland running, there was a great tire carry up the bank to the castle walls its self. but with no marker to tell you when to turn and head back to the tire pile it seemed a little confusing. A few more miles of running, horse jumps, and a barbed wire crawl and I was back insight of the car park. The final 1/2 mile of the course was great, a muddy trench to navigate, followed by a wall, monkey bars, wall, monkey bars, wall. the walls got higher with each phase, and I was greatly impressed to see marshals giving press up forfeits to those that couldn't manage the obstacles. I luckily had enough energy and upper body strength to complete the monkey bars and walls, only need a helping hand on the final highest wall.

http://www.thesufferingrace.co.uk/

In summary: A good 10 mile cross country run, but only a very average obstacle race, with only a couple of obstacles of any note, and all three of them being 'carry' obstacles.

Scores (out of 10)
Course: 4
Terrain: 7
Difficulty: 6
Return factor: 4 - but i'll wait to see what the organisers do in response to quite a lot of negative feedback
Overall: 6

Race - Beacon Hill Summer Solstice Run - 21st June 2013

This race is only 5 minutes away from where I work so I rocked up around 6:10, parked up and picked up my race number. I've ran here a few times both racing and training so I know the course and I know the race procedure. I go into my routine of stretching quite early and just potter about eyeing up other racers, and seeing what trainers people had chosen.

straining the quads

As the organisers mustered us over to the start line the cani-cross dogs started going mental, barking and pulling and generally getting over excited. This race is always great fun with lots of people and lots of dogs, I always like the surprise start as you can never hear the countdown of the barking dogs. "Go". Shit haven't got my watch on the right mode, or made final show lace checks. Arr well, after a quick fumble with the watch and a glance at my shoes, I'm off and picking my way past the smaller dogs and slower runners. The weather is prefect and the starting run through the woods is stunning. The course then opens up into a wide compacted stone path, and is the first mile of uphill.

I wasn't feeling very strong and couldn't get enough energy into my legs, and was slowly being overtaken by other runners, this was a  little disheartening but I decided I would take them back on the downhill. But as I hit the downhill I couldn't pull any places back but I was spurred on by a gang of miniature supporters with football rattles and loud cheers. My legs were really feeling the race today, so I planned to upcoming water station to give them a little rest-bite. This 10 meter walk allowed an other runner to pass me, but the short rest and water allowed me to push past him once I got back up to running speed.

Finish line sprint

The next hill was a killer, a 2.5 mile slog, my legs were heavy and I was pretty crest fallen, as I felt I should be faster and stronger up this hill, but my body was crying out to walk. I kept pushing, to try and keep hold of the place I was maintaining. A slight descend followed by short sharp climb saw me loose 4 or 5 places. But I know knew it was downhill all the way. I focused on a guy in an 'Avalanche Yeti Race' t-shirt and was determined to pick him off. But he could really open up on the down hill. But I managed to hang on to his heels as we both started picking off runners, with 500 meters to go he opened up the gap leave 2 or 3 runners between us. With 300 meters to go, I decided to empty the tank, bursting past the other runners to get insight of the Yeti man, on the final corner I had no chance of catching him, but looked over my shoulder to realise I was safe not to lose any more places. I was done in when I finished, both physically and mentally, It's not great feeling like you not running as well I you know you have in the past. and checking the results I was a couple of minutes slower than the two races, over the same course, last year.

But it was a beautiful day and place to run, just means I have to train harder to improve!

http://www.jackrabbitevents.co.uk
http://www.runner-photos.co.uk/rpEventSearch.asp?RaceID=BHS13

In summary: A hard 5 mile hilly race, slick organisation, and very beautiful scenery.

Scores (out of 10)
Course: 9
Terrain: 7
Difficulty: 7
Return factor: 8
Overall: 8